You're my own personal brand of BAAAUUUUUGHHHH
Dear Doctor Offir:

I don't care if you think Jasper Cullen is silly. Stop leaping out at him and screaming "BOO!" He's going to find a way to have a vampire heart attack.

Love, Jaydee.

Christ, I don't even like Twilight, but the image of poor bug-eyed Jasper freaking the hell out and then falling over twitching amuses my sleepy brain.

[end transmission]